


beauty isn't everything (it's the only thing)

by primaries



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Anal Sex, Angst, Blackmail, Cheating, Everyone Is In Love With Taeyong, Jaehyun is a sweetheart, M/M, Makeup Artist Ten, Model Taeyong, Slow Burn, Sub Lee Taeyong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 01:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primaries/pseuds/primaries
Summary: He pressed again and Taeyong gasped openly. He was about to ask Ten what he was doing, ask for the reason  why he was touching him like this but Ten interrupted him, his voice low but certain.“Can I ask you a question?” Ten asked, his hand still on the inside of Taeyong’s thigh, rubbing small circles into his pale skin.“Um,” Taeyong said, hating how shaky his voice had come out. “Sure.”“How does it feel,” Ten started, looking up at him, “to walk into a room and it’s like in the middle of winter you’re the sun?”Or, the one where Taeyong moves to LA with his boyfriend to further his modeling career and meets established makeup artist Ten who seems to be set on changing his once-comfortable life completely.





	beauty isn't everything (it's the only thing)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. There are a lot of things to keep in mind before diving into this story.
> 
> First off, it _is_ based off of Nicholas Winding Refn's "The Neon Demon". There are scenes that are going to be similar but the majority of this fic has been written with original concepts. But, like. If you're reading and you're like "Hey, this is reminding me of something" it's because it's based off of that.
> 
> Secondly, I'm gonna come right out and say that this is completely a self-indulgent fic that I started off writing because I wholeheartedly believe that Lee Taeyong is the most beautiful person on this planet and needed some way to blow off the fact that I literally think about how pretty he is, like, 23 hours of the day.
> 
> Thirdly, he didn't really help me with this because I never mentioned it and is currently ignoring me which is ANNOYING but he's been helping me write for over a year and this is the first time I'm actually publishing one of my works online which probably wouldn't have been possible without him so I'm dedicating this to Ellie. (His Twitter is @owmarklee, I literally do not know how to link things.)
> 
> Lastly, this is going to be a 2 (or possibly 3, I haven't decided yet) part story. There might be a little bit of time between updates because my Senior year has just started and I need to focus on that but I promise I'll try to update as frequently as possible (And might update quicker depending on how much attention this story gets/how much people end up liking this). Please be patient with me!
> 
> Also this isn’t beta read so. If you see any typos that’s why.

“You sure you’re ready for this?”

Taeyong turned his head away from the window, having been distracted by the passing scenery of downtown Los Angeles. It had been interesting to see how different each area was as they drove though. One part would be clearly affluent, with big, beautiful homes and designer stores. Drive five minutes West and you’re in the slums with hoards of homeless people gathered on each corner. Taeyong felt bad for them. He tried to memorize most of their faces, making a silent vow to himself that he would come back a little later in his career and help them out with the money he earned. Most of them would probably spend it on heroin or something but as long as some used it on food and other essentials Taeyong still would feel accomplished.

His boyfriend, Jaehyun, stared back at him, smiling happily. Taeyong blinked at him for a moment before realizing that he hadn’t answered his question.

“Yeah,” Taeyong said, nodding. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like it’s my first gig.”

“But it’s your first gig in LA,” Jaehyun pointed out. “With a huge ass company, no less.” Then he paused, clearly thinking over what he had said before deciding to reiterate, “I’m just making sure that you’re alright.”

“I’m a little nervous,” Taeyong admitted. “But I’ll be fine, Jae. Promise.”

Jaehyun nodded in response. Taeyong unbuckled his seatbelt and reached behind him in the backseat to grab his bag. When he sat back down, Jaehyun had his phone in hand, ready to hand it to him. Taeyong took it with a grateful smile. It was an iPhone 5C; embarrassingly ancient but still good enough for him. 

“You’ll call if you need me, right?” Jaehyun confirmed.

“I’ll call when I need you to come pick me up,” Taeyong responded. That little frown etched with worry on Jaehyun’s lips doesn’t leave. “I’ll call you if I need you,” Taeyong sighed, deciding it would be easier to give Jaehyun the answer that he wanted. It felt a little silly, though. Jaehyun was his boyfriend, not his father.

“Cool,” Jaehyun said, perking up a bit.

The two of them sit there for a couple of minutes. The old radio built into the dashboard was playing some Katy Perry song that probably was new considering how unfamiliar it sounded.

“I gotta go,” Taeyong said after a moment, reaching over to open his door.

“It doesn’t start for another ten minutes,” Jaehyun replied, watching Taeyong climb out, shutting the door behind him.

“It looks better if I’m early,” Taeyong told him, pushing his bag further up his shoulder. He rounded the front of the car, stopping at Jaehyun’s window. “Kiss.”

Jaehyun didn’t hesitate to stick his head out the window and press a chaste kiss to Taeyong’s lips. 

“I might stay around the area in case you get done early,” Jaehyun said once they had pulled apart.

“I’m not gonna get done early,” Taeyong said which was true. Shoots typically took three to four hours when everything was running smoothly. Seeing that it was Taeyong’s first time working with the company, it could take even longer. There was no point in Jaehyun sticking around. “Go home, Jae.”

“What if you do?” Jaehyun asked. “Then you’ll have to wait outside and this isn’t really the nicest area to be alone in and—”

“—Jaehyun,” Taeyong interrupted, laughing a little at his boyfriend’s slight panic. “I’ll be okay. Trust me.”

Jaehyun looked at him for a moment, like he was debating on whether or not to trust him. Then, he sighed, nodding.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” Taeyong confirmed. “I gotta go, alright? I’ll call you when I’m finished.”

He bent down for another kiss and Jaehyun graciously accepted. 

“Good luck,” Jaehyun called, starting up the car again.

Taeyong beamed at him in response, giving Jaehyun a small wave before turning and walking towards the building. He saw Jaehyun pull off in his peripheral right before reaching the door. 

The inside of the building was a lot more organized and pristine than the outside. Taeyong suddenly felt very small. A few people passed him by, all walking with a purpose, making it clear that they knew exactly where they were going. Taeyong straightened his back a little, not wanting to come across as the newbie that he was.

The place was huge with no signs to help him get around. His agent had given him instructions on where to go when first telling him about the gig but that was almost a week ago and Taeyong’s memory wasn’t all that great. He found himself wishing that he had written all that she had said down. 

Someone noticed him. A woman walking past, another person that had a sense of certainty to her strut. He noticed her glance over at him, seeing nothing at first before looking back a second time. She walked back over, stepping right in front of Taeyong. Her hair was pulled up in a sleek ponytail, her eyes reminding Taeyong of a cat’s. She stared at him for a long moment, long enough for Taeyong to start to feel uncomfortable and unsure of what to do.

Finally, she said, “You’re Taeyong Lee, aren’t you?”

She spoke fast. It was hard for Taeyong to comprehend at first.

“Oh,” Taeyong said, nodding. “Y–Yes. I’m him.”

“You’re Korean?” the woman asked. Taeyong nodded again. “Not too good at English?”

“No,” Taeyong admitted, blushing a bit. “I’m studying, though.”

“That’s good. Most people here are gonna find you difficult to work with if you can’t understand a single thing that’s coming out of their mouths,” she said. Taeyong decided not to tell her that understand wasn’t the problem but speaking it was. She gave him a quick lookover, humming to herself. “You’re real pretty.”

“T–Thank you,” Taeyong responded.

“Don’t thank me, thank your parents,” the woman chuckled. “Anyway, the shoot starts in about an hour and a half so makeup’s gonna need you over as soon as possible.” She turned and pointed to a door about a foot up and to the right. “They’re right in there. Big yellow door. Can’t miss it.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong repeated. The woman nodded and continued on her way.

The room was bustling with people. At least ten people Taeyong assumed were models were set up in their own personal chair, someone hovering over them with several cartridges of makeup stuffed into a holster on their belts. It all looked so professional, a complete 360 from what Taeyong had gotten used to in Korea.

Taeyong nearly jumped out of his skin upon feeling a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a man standing in front of him. He was shorter than him, with a small upturned nose and catlike eyes that reminded Taeyong of the woman from the lobby. His hair was cut short and dyed a light blue.

It took Taeyong a moment to realize that the man’s mouth was moving, that he was talking to him.

“I–I’m sorry?” Taeyong asked.

“Taeyong, right?” the man repeated. Taeyong nodded, opened his mouth to confirm but was beat to it, the man holding out his hand. “I’m Ten.”

They shook hands. Taeyong thought about it for a moment, tried to find the right words for what he wanted to say. 

“Um,” Taeyong started. “Only Ten?”

“It’s a nickname,” Ten explained, smiling. He had really nice teeth. “You ready for me?”

“Oh,” Taeyong said. “You’re my makeup?”

“Yeah,” Ten responded. He pointed to an unoccupied chair in the corner of the room. “Go ahead and put your stuff down and sit. I’ll be over in a second.”

Taeyong nodded and did what he was told. While in the chair, he looked at himself in the wide mirror. His hair looked a little messy from the wind. He wondered if he should fix it. Ten came back over before he could come to a decision.

Ten bent down and lowered Taeyong’s chair a bit, pulling a surprised gasp out of Taeyong that made him laugh quietly. He put a huge container of makeup on the table next to him, flicking it open with the heel of his hand.

He pulled out a bottle of something liquid and pink and looked up at Taeyong.

“Did you wash your face?” Ten asked.

“I did,” Taeyong confirmed. That was one of the only things he had remembered from his agent; to clean his face thoroughly before showing up.

“Cool,” Ten said, smiling again. “Close your eyes, honey.”

Taeyong did. A second later, something wet was being sprayed over his face in a soft mist. He tried his best not to flinch. 

“Open,” Ten said. Taeyong did. “I think we’re gonna do as little foundation possible. You’ve got great skin, I don’t want to cover it.”

“Okay,” Taeyong responded. “Thank you.”

Ten grinned and reached for something in his case. He pulled out a small circular container and a brush.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Ten asked, flicking the container open and rubbing the brush against the pale powder inside.

Taeyong didn’t. He had never liked to talk too much. He wasn’t a big fan of interacting with people in general, which could be seen as ironic, considering his current line of work.

“No,” Taeyong answered. Ten ran the brush across both his cheeks, then his forehead, then along his nose.

“Pretty thick accent,” Ten commented. “Close your eyes again.” Taeyong obeyed, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “Let me guess — somewhere in Japan? Yokohama?”

“Korea,” Taeyong responded. “I’ve never been to Japan.”

Ten sucked his teeth, lifting Taeyong’s chin up with a lone finger. He dusted the brush underneath his chin, down his neck.

“Bad guess,” Ten sighed. “Open your eyes, sweetheart.”

Taeyong wondered how old Ten was, why he kept calling him those names when he didn’t look too much older than him. He ultimately chalked it up to be an American thing. 

Ten reached inside his case again, pulling out some eyeshadow and a container of what looked to be gold flakes. They both looked really expensive.

“Eyes,” Ten said and Taeyong did as he was asked. He heard some rustling that went on for awhile until finally feeling another one of Ten’s brushes graze his eyelid. “So, Korea, huh?” Ten continued, decorating Taeyong’s eye in short strokes. Taeyong nodded. “Seoul?” 

“Yes,” Taeyong confirmed.

“Well, lucky for you,” Ten started, surprising Taeyong with a sudden outburst of Korean, “I studied abroad in Ulsan for five years.”

The relief Taeyong felt was immediate. He felt so much more comfortable speaking in his native tongue, not having to struggle to find the right word for what he wanted to say. He smiled which was immediately stopped by Ten who put his thumb and forefinger on each side of his mouth and pulled down.

“How long have you lived in LA, Taeyong?” Ten asked, switching to Taeyong’s other eye.

“A month,” Taeyong answered. 

“Moved here by yourself?”

Taeyong started to shake his head but stopped himself, not wanting to chance ruining Ten’s hard work.

“No,” Taeyong said. “I moved with my boyfriend.”

Taeyong felt Ten’s hands freeze on his face. It probably wasn’t that long of a pause but Taeyong still noticed, wondering if what he said had rubbed Ten the wrong way. Before he could fret too much about it, Ten was pushing some of his hair off of his forehead, continuing to work.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Ten asked, humming. “That’s cute.” Taeyong didn’t know how to respond to that so he kept quiet. Luckily, Ten wasn’t finished. “You look young. How old are you?”

“19,” Taeyong said.

“Wow,” Ten seemed impressed by that. Taeyong didn’t know why. “And your boyfriend?”

“He’s 22.”

Ten hummed again. He took his fingers from under Taeyong’s chin and pulled the brush away. Taeyong heard something else click open.

“I’m not putting a lot of makeup on you, by the way,” Ten explained. Taeyong nodded shortly before feeling something stick to his eyebrow. “You’ve got this, like, Victorian beauty. Don’t wanna cover it up.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said, though he didn’t really understand what Ten meant. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Ten acknowledged, starting to work on Taeyong’s left brow. “Dyeing your hair blonde was a good choice, too. Makes you look brighter. Draws attention to your skin.”

Taeyong’s agent had told him to dye his hair. She said that his natural color was too mousy and boring. Taeyong wasn’t a big fan of it at first but was starting to get used to it. Hearing someone other than Jaehyun compliment it made him feel a little better about it, too.

“Thank you,” he said. 

“You’re a polite little thing, aren’t you?” Ten laughed, moving down to work on Taeyong’s eyes again. “You know, I like you, Taeyong.”

Taeyong smiled. Ten stopped him again. A twinge of guilt ran through him. Taeyong hoped he didn’t ruin anything.

“So, how’d you get into modeling?” Ten asked.

“Um,” Taeyong started, thinking about it. “In Korea, they do a lot of street–casting. I was coming home from school when someone stopped me and asked if I had ever modeled before.” Something damp grazed his eye and Taeyong flinched. Ten put a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him silently. Taeyong hesitated a moment before continuing. “I modeled for a little while there until my agency offered me a position here.”

“You were pretty young when you first started?” Ten questioned, hand still on Taeyong’s shoulder.

“Mhm,” Taeyong confirmed quietly. “15.”

“And how’d your parents like that?”

Taeyong froze. It must have been noticeable because not soon after, Ten was pausing, too. Taeyong kept his eyes closed, breathing slowly through his nose as he tried not to think too hard about it. 

“They’re not around,” Taeyong said finally, softly.

“Oh,” Ten said. “Bad relationship?”

“No,” Taeyong responded, his voice small. “They just aren’t around.”

Ten understood after that, Taeyong could tell. He was glad for it. He didn’t like having to say it out loud. It still took a toll on him.

Some more time passed. Ten worked on Taeyong’s eyes for a little while longer before moving onto his cheeks. Once the brush was taken away from Taeyong’s cheekbones, Ten told him to part his lips a tad. Taeyong did.

More spray. More gloss. Then, Ten was saying, “Open up.”

Taeyong looked at Ten first. His reflection came second. The sight of it surprised him. Ten had done an amazing job. His skin seemed to glow underneath the mirror’s low, luminous light. Flakes of gold decorated the corners of his eyes and glitter of the same hue had been sprinkled along his eyebrows. Ten had colored his lids a soft red that got slightly darker under his eyes and blended with the natural blush of his cheeks. His lips was slicked with a thin coat of gloss, making them look pinker than usual.

He looked unreal. Like something that didn’t exist, something out of a fairytale.

“Wow,” Taeyong said. “You’re really talented, Ten.”

“I know,” Ten chirped, squatting down next to Taeyong, looking at him through the mirror. “You made it a lot easier for me, though.”

Taeyong stopped admiring himself for a moment to look back at Ten. “How?” he asked.

Ten smiled and put his chin on Taeyong’s shoulder, pushing his head back forward to look at the mirror with a tentative finger. He waited a moment before answering.

“You’re beautiful,” Ten said. “Like you should be an exhibit at the Louvre.”

Taeyong blushed. Ever since first starting his career, he had been complimented by hundreds of different people from all over the globe. Somehow, the way Ten said it felt unique. It made Taeyong feel special.

“Hey,” Ten piped up, looking up at Taeyong — the real Taeyong, not the one the mirror. “You wanna come to a party with me?” Then, he paused, stopping to think about it. “Your boyfriend, too?”

Taeyong hesitated. He didn’t really like parties, had never been a fan of them. They required talking and being social which were both things that he wasn’t the best at. He hadn’t been to one since before the new year, held by his company back in Korea for Christmas.

Then, he realized that parties were part of the job. His agent had told him that the best thing he could do for himself in his line of work was to make good connections. A party was the best place for him to do that.

So, Taeyong nodded. “That sounds fun.”

Ten beamed. “Good,” he said. “I’ll let you know the details before you leave.” Then, he stood back up and pointed over his shoulder. “You’ve got to get over to hair. You’re already late.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said, pushing himself out of his chair and onto the floor. “Right. I’m sorry.”

“Apologize to them, not me,” Ten said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” Taeyong nodded. “Bye, Ten.”

Ten gave him a little wave. When Taeyong made it over to hair, a woman a few inches taller than him immediately started fussing over how the color had started to fade and how his roots were now showing.

  
  
  


✂️

  
  
  


The party was as intimidating at Taeyong expected it to be. The people were all dressed exquisitely. The house was huge. Everything in sight looked extremely expensive. To say that Taeyong was overwhelmed by it all would be a gross understatement.

Jaehyun, however, seemed to be having the time of his life. The food, the scenery, the alcohol. Taeyong was happy to see Jaehyun enjoy himself. Ever since their move, Taeyong was afraid that Jaehyun was starting to become miserable in their current situation. While that might still be true, letting him experience things like this could help him settle a little bit more. At least, that was what Taeyong hoped.

That being said, Taeyong was uncomfortable. He wasn’t at all used to anything like this. To be around so many that he didn’t know, having to engage in conversations with them even though he had no idea what to talk about. It all led to him feeling anxious. He pushed through, swallowing down the bubble that kept building up in his throat, knowing that making an impression on people was more important than his nerves. 

At some point, Jaehyun ended up taking over for him. When anybody would approach Taeyong, he would step in and continue conversation, almost like Taeyong wasn’t even there. Jaehyun had always been an extrovert, loved interacting with people and getting to know them. It also helped that Jaehyun was fluent in English. Not having to struggle to think of the right thing to say during an interaction took a huge load off of Taeyong.

Standing in the background does become boring after awhile, though. So, while Jaehyun and some man embarked on minute fifteen of an avid conversation about Jaehyun’s upbringing in Connecticut, Taeyong excused himself quietly and slipped away.

The house truly was beautiful. The ceilings were high and the walls were decorated with beautiful paintings of pastel flowers and cherubs. Taeyong wondered who owned it as he walked through a crowded hallway, slowing his stride to appreciate the beauty of it. He wanted to have something like it one day. Him and Jaehyun would live in it happily. Jaehyun would use of the many rooms as a place to play pool — he had gotten disgustingly good at it since their move, challenging and beating random strangers each time that him and Taeyong went out to the bar near their motel, had proclaimed it as his favorite pastime early last week. They would get a dog; something small that could sleep between the two of them at night. Taeyong liked the name Ruby.

Somehow, Taeyong ended up outside. It was a little less crowded back there. Some people were lingered far back, sipping wine as they enjoyed their view of the ocean. Taeyong wanted to appreciate the scenery but didn’t want to risk having to endure another conversation with someone that spoke entirely too fast for him to properly understand. He decided to sit near the pool, staring down at his reflection in the rippling waves.

He isn’t sure how long he had been there. The new addition to his reflection is what caused him to turn around, startled by their appearance. He settled upon seeing who it was, face breaking out into a wide smile as he pushed himself up off of the ground.

“I’m so sorry,” Ten apologized frantically, pulling Taeyong in for a hug. “I didn’t think you had showed.”

It took Taeyong a moment to realize that Ten was apologizing for his absence. To be completely honest, Taeyong had experienced a sinking feeling of disappointment after the first hour of roaming around the house and not seeing Ten. He came to the conclusion that Ten didn’t come and was probably busy with something else.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Taeyong said once they had separated. “I’m here with my boyfriend so he’s been keeping me company.”

“The 22–year–old?” Ten asked, raising a brow. Taeyong nodded, a little confused with Ten’s wording. He said it like Jaehyun’s age was a bad thing. “Well, how come you’re out here by yourself, then?”

“Talking to people is exhausting,” Taeyong admitted quietly.

Ten hummed in agreement. “You’re telling me, honey,” he said, shaking his head. He took hold of both of Taeyong’s hands, stepping back to get a good look at him. “You look absolutely beautiful, Taeyong.”

No matter how many people told him that, Taeyong still couldn’t stop himself from blushing. He smiled a little wider. Again, the words felt different coming from Ten than it had from everyone else who told him the same that night. 

“Thank you,” Taeyong said softly. Ten smiled back, giving Taeyong’s hands a small squeeze.

“Listen, I know you said that you’re tired of talking to people,” Ten started, “but do you want to meet my friends?”

Taeyong hesitated. He wasn’t sure. He felt okay talking to Ten but adding new people into the mix made that uncertain feeling build back up inside of him.

“They’re both Korean so you don’t have to worry about speaking in English,” Ten continued once taking notice of Taeyong’s hesitancy.

In all honesty, Taeyong would have honestly preferred to stay alone with Ten or by himself but didn’t want to be a buzzkill. After all, if someone as nice as Ten was friends with them, they had to be the same if not somewhat similar to him.

So, Taeyong nodded. Ten grinned happily and moved his hand up to Taeyong’s wrist, pulling him away from the pool and to the group of people standing on the awning Taeyong had seen when he first walked out.

Ten stopped near the corner, away from everyone else, next to a potted plant. Two people turned, one a tall woman with blunt bangs and a small mouth and the other a man with a kind smile and sandy–brown hair. 

“Seulgi, Jungwoo,” Ten started. “This is who I’ve been talking to you about.”

The woman — Seulgi — raised an eyebrow, giving Taeyong a quick look up and down. “Well, he wasn’t lying,” she said. “You  _ are _ pretty.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said, bowing a little. “Thank you.”

“Taeyong, this is Seulgi,” Ten continued, pointing at the woman who only lifted her glass to her mouth and took a quick sip before turning to the man who waved happily. “And that’s Jungwoo.”

“Hi,” Taeyong waved. “I’m Taeyong.”

“Oh, we know who you are, sweetheart,” Jungwoo said, laughing.

“You do?” Taeyong asked.

“You’re all anyone can talk about, Taeyong,” Ten said excitedly.

That surprised Taeyong. His first editorial wasn’t set to drop until mid–October but that didn’t mean that people hadn’t seen it. He just hadn’t expected it to have any sort of a lasting effect of anyone. If people were talking about it, that meant they must have liked it, right?

“It’s nothing bad,” Jungwoo intercepted, seemingly reading Taeyong’s mind. “Don’t worry.”

“Every single time a new young model comes in from some irrelevant part of the world everyone is all over them,” Seulgi spoke up, still eyeing Taeyong almost suspiciously. “It’s different with you, though. It’s like they’re obsessed.”

“It’s because he’s got that androgynous look to him,” Jungwoo pointed out, reaching forward to brush a piece of Taeyong’s hair out of his face. He either didn’t notice how Taeyong flinched or simply didn’t care. “That’s the thing nowadays.”

“What happens when it’s not the thing?” Seulgi mumbled.

Taeyong’s face fell at that. He had never considered that, as silly and naive as it sounded. Would people really drop him the second that the supposed ‘trend’ was no longer something that they wanted representing their brand? The thought of it scared him.

“Ignore her,” Ten spoke up. “She gets all pissy every time that everyone’s attention isn’t on her.”

“Fuck off, Ten,” Seulgi hissed. Jungwoo laughed.

The three of them dive into a conversation that Taeyong doesn’t even try to keep up with. He found himself staring out at the ocean. It was much more enthralling than the pool, no end to it in sight. It was beautiful.

He looked back and saw Seulgi’s eyes on him, watching him intently. He isn’t quite sure what to do, doesn’t know why she was staring at him like how she was. He was getting a growing feeling that she didn’t like him.

Finally, Seulgi spoke, interrupting Jungwoo and Ten’s debate about something Taeyong hadn’t been listening to.

“Who’d you fuck?” she asked bluntly.

Taeyong blinked at her. He wasn’t sure if he understood her question correctly.

“I’m sorry?” Taeyong said, frowning a bit.

“You just got here a month ago and you’ve already had a shoot with Antonio Rivera,” Seulgi explained, moving her gaze away from Taeyong and down to the glass of wine in her hand, swirling it around. “So, who’d you fuck?”

“ _ Seulgi _ ,” Jungwoo chastised, voice low.

“I know you’re wondering it, too!” Seulgi exclaimed, laughing bitterly. “Think about it, Woo. It took us over a year to land a shoot with him!”

That was a little offensive. Actually, it was more than a little offensive. He honestly couldn’t believe that Seulgi was accusing him of having slept with someone to get to where he was now. That wasn’t the type of person Taeyong was. He had a boyfriend. He would never take his clothes off for something as menial as work.

He looked over at Ten for help but Ten didn’t seem to be paying attention to what was going on. Taeyong turned back to Seulgi, his face starting to grow hot. He wasn’t sure how to respond. Obviously  _ no, I haven’t slept with anyone  _ but Taeyong’s brain seemed to be actively working against him.

Then — “There you are, Yong!”

Taeyong turned around to see Jaehyun approaching him, smiling. Ten, Seulgi and Jungwoo looked up, too, not expecting the sudden addition to their group. Taeyong, on the other hand, had never been so glad to see Jaehyun.

“You disappeared on me,” Jaehyun said, wrapping an arm around Taeyong’s shoulder.

“I told you that I was gonna go somewhere a little quieter,” Taeyong mumbled. It felt weird to talk so normally with Ten, Jungwoo and Seulgi — especially Seulgi — standing there, listening in.

“You did?” Jaehyun asked.

“Is there any reason why the help is hanging out with us right now?” Seulgi piped up sarcastically.

Taeyong deflated a little bit more than earlier. He was wrong — Ten’s friends weren’t as friendly as him. Not only had she insulted him, but had now moved on to insulting Jaehyun, too. Jaehyun’s frown spread deeper at the comment.

“Shut the fuck up, Seulgi,” Ten suddenly snapped, surprising everyone in the group.

Seulgi looked taken the most by surprise, opening her mouth to say something before shutting it, deciding to down the rest of her wine, instead. Taeyong couldn’t have been more grateful.

“Right, so,” Jaehyun started slowly. “Babe, you ready to go? Traffic’s gonna kick our asses if we don’t leave soon.”

Taeyong was. It was nice to see Ten and he wished that the two of them could have spent a little more time together but he was exhausted. At this point in the night, he wanted nothing more than to take a shower and go straight to bed afterward.

“Yeah,” Taeyong nodded. “Okay.” He turned to Jungwoo. “Bye. It was nice meeting you.”

He didn’t bother saying the same to Seulgi. Jungwoo smiled and gave him a little wave before turning to Seulgi, mumbling something about a cigarette. Seulgi sighed and started to rummage through the pockets of her blazer.

Taeyong turned to Ten who seemed completely back to normal, like he hadn’t snapped on Seulgi mere seconds earlier. 

“Bye, Ten,” Taeyong said, smiling softly. “Thank you for inviting us. We had a lot of fun.”

Ten responded by pulling Taeyong into another hug, much tighter than the one earlier. Taeyong hugged back, noticing the smell of ginger wafting off of Ten for the first time. It was comforting.

After a moment, Ten pulled back, holding Taeyong by his hands again. Taeyong decided that he liked having Ten touch him like this.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Ten said.

“Okay,” Taeyong nodded.

Another squeeze. Then, Ten was letting Taeyobg go. Taeyong looked to Jaehyun, ready to say something when he noticed the frown playing on the older’s lips. It disappeared the moment he met Taeyong’s eyes, replaced with a big smile.

“Let’s go,” Jaehyun said, reaching down to take Taeyong’s hand. He looked over his shoulder and waved, ever polite. “Bye.”

Only Jungwoo and Ten responded. Taeyong looked, too, smiling. Ten grinned back at him.

  
  
  


✂️

  
  
  


Taeyong got booked again. This time, it was to shoot with this huge Japanese designer that had recently made a name for himself in the United States. Everyone wanted to work with him, to work  _ for  _ him. He asked for Taeyong specifically.

Jaehyun dropped him off. The location was at some warehouse in Malibu, an almost two–hour drive from their hotel. This time when Jaehyun said that he was gonna stick around, Taeyong didn’t protest. For him todrive the whole way back would only be a waste. Jaehyun leaned out of his window and kissed Taeyong before bidding him farewell.

He was able to find his way around the building a little easier this time. The man at the desk eyed him suspiciously before pointing him back, acknowledging Taeyong’s thank you with a low hum before returning back to filing his nails.

The set was simple but beautiful. White expanded around every inch of the room, brightening both the space and everyone in it. A woman with a face stronger than Taeyong’s own was the center of attention, posed with her arms above her head and her legs spread as the photographer clicked away, the bulb of his camera blinding with each picture.

Taeyong looked around in absolute awe. Even after having already done a shoot, he was still so fascinated by how different modeling was in American than in Korea. It was much more picturesque, much more professional. He was in love with it.

Ten saw him before he saw Ten. Taeyong looked up to see Ten smiling at him, a pair of glasses atop his pert nose. His heart swelled as Ten started to walk over, doing the same to meet him in the middle.

Ten hugged him. Taeyong hugged him back.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again this soon,” Ten said after they pulled back, grinning happily.

“Me either,” Taeyong beamed. “Are you working this shoot?”

“I am,” Ten nodded, folding his arms across his chest, tilting his head slightly to the left. “And I’m guessing that I get to work on your gorgeous face again?”

Taeyong tried his hardest not to blush. He smiled even brighter and nodded. Ten reached forward and tilted his head up by pushing under his chin with a single finger.

“You wash your face for me, honey?” Ten asked, quirking a brow.

“I did,” Taeyong breathed.

“Good,” Ten said softly. “Then, let’s go. They’re gonna want you on set pretty soon.”

Ten took hold of Taeyong’s arm, leading him out of the room. Taeyong turned, taking one last look at the simple beauty of the set before continuing on.

They sat down in a room that looked nearly identical to the one they had first met in. Taeyong dropped his bag and climbed up into his chair, Ten starting to pull different supplies out of the case he had with him last time.

This time, before starting Taeyong’s makeup, Ten pulled out a pair of clips and pushed them snug into Taeyong’s hair, keeping it confidently pinned away from his forehead. A tug on Taeyong’s loose hoodie followed.

“You’re gonna have to take this off,” Ten said, tucking a piece of his own hair behind his ear. He immediately noticed Taeyong’s frown of confusion, going on to explain, “It’s a neon shoot. Sort of like a contrast. The first half is gonna be all white and they’re gonna switch off the lights and you’re gonna be flooded in this really bright purple. Glitter will work well with that.”

Taeyong still wasn’t grasping something. “Why do I have to take off my jacket for that?” he asked quietly.

“Because you’ve got a great body, sweetheart,” Ten said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Taeyong didn’t look swayed. Ten sighed. “You won’t be completely naked, okay?” 

The uncertainty stayed. Taeyong knew that being in vulnerable positions in front of people he didn’t know what a big part of the job but it was still terrifying to think about. No shoot in Korea had required him taking off his clothes. This would be a first.

But Ten was an artist with a vision and it was Taeyong’s responsibility to help him bring it to life. So, he nodded slowly before reaching down to strip himself of his hoodie. Ten waited patiently as he did the same with his shorts.

“There you are,” Ten said, taking Taeyong’s clothes as they were handed to him, folding them over his arm neatly before setting them down on the floor next to Taeyong’s bag.

“Cold,” Taeyong mumbled.

“I’m sure you are,” Ten hummed, reaching over to pick up something from his case. “Now close your eyes.”

Taeyong did. Seconds later, something with a familiar scent was misting over his face

It was quiet for a little. Taeyong didn’t speak in fear of distracting Ten from his work. His face had started to feel sticky from all of the glitter that Ten was applying and that alone made him want to squirm but Taeyong kept still, obeying each thing that Ten asked of him.

“I’m sorry about Seulgi,” Ten said after what felt like forever. Having been given permission to open his eyes, Taeyong watched Ten as he dipped a brush into more glitter before rubbing it onto his face, right on the arch of his left cheekbone. “She’s a huge bitch,” Ten continued, sighing. “I should have warned you about that before bringing you over.”

Taeyong didn’t try to argue with that. Seulgi  _ was  _ a bitch and he definitely would have appreciated some kind of a warning before being thrown into the wolf’s den that was her. Still so, he couldn’t bring himself to be mad or even frustrated with Ten. It wasn’t his fault.

“How come she doesn’t like me?” Taeyong decided to ask. The curiosity had been eating away at him for the past couple of days. “Is she like that with everyone?”

“Yeah,” Ten nodded, using his thumbnail to pluck something away from Taeyong’s face. “She was a lot more brutal with you, though.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re young and beautiful,” Ten answered simply. “She’s threatened by you. Being snarky is her only defense mechanism.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything in response to that. He could see that being true. Seulgi herself was gorgeous but had clearly gotten some work done. She wasn’t happy with her appearance and spent a lot of money trying to change it. Seeing someone who didn’t have to work as hard for beauty as she had probably frustrated her to no end. Taeyong understood. A small part of him felt sorry for her. 

Ten pulled out a tube of lipstick and Taeyong puckered up without being instructed, knowing what was to come next. It felt heavy and dry on his lips but Taeyong dealt, letting Ten run the stick to and fro until deeming it perfect.

“What’s your boyfriend’s name again?” Ten asked offhandedly. He noticed Taeyong’s hesitancy and laughed. “You can talk, babe.”

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong answered.

Ten hummed, his back turned to Taeyong as he rummaged through his case for something. Taeyong glanced at himself in the mirror. Ten had managed to make it look like he was crying glitter, the tiny flakes illuminating his skin beautifully. The lipstick made his lips look much more doll–like and rounded.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Ten said, surprising Taeyong a little.

“Y–Yeah,” Taeyong mumbled, sitting back straight in his chair. “You’re really talented, Ten.”

“I try,” Ten smirked. He nudged Taeyong’s left arm with his elbow. “Arms up for me.”

Taeyong obeyed. He tried his best not to flinch too much when Ten started rubbing glitter into his skin, it feeling a lot colder than it had on his face.

“How long have you two been together?” Ten asked, carrying on the conversation.

“Three years,” Taeyong said and Ten hummed, reaching for more glitter. “This is gonna be a pain to get off,” Taeyong commented quietly, frowning a little.

“It is,” Ten agreed, rubbing more onto Taeyong’s arm. “So, are you happy with him?”

That was a bit of a strange question. Taeyong definitely hadn’t been expecting Ten to ask it. He kept his mouth closed for a long time, debating on how to answer. 

There wasn’t a doubt in Taeyong’s mind about it — Jaehyun made him happy. He was kind and handsome and thoughtful. Taeyong couldn’t think of one bad thing about him. He had moved away from his family and to another country for him. Jaehyun was amazing.

“I’m happy,” Taeyong finally answered, watching Ten go for another scoop. He pushed Taeyong’s head up, starting to slather it all over the length of his neck.

“And what about Jaehyun?” Ten continued. “Is he happy?”

“What?” Taeyong said, putting his head down to look at Ten. Ten is quick to push it back up, chastising him quietly under his breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Ten mumbled. A round of silence. Then, he moved his hand away from under Taeyong’s chin.

“You’re good, love.” Taeyong put his head back down. 

“What did you mean?” Taeyong asked again. Ten doesn’t answer for a long while, too focused on perfecting the sparkle on Taeyong’s thin arms.

“Think about it,” Ten started. “You moved out here to build a career for yourself. He moved here to support you. You’re out all day living your dream and he’s driving around Malibu waiting for you to be finished. You’re his reason for everything.”

That was true. As silly as it sounded, Taeyong had never considered that. Jaehyun never complained, didn’t seem unhappy or unfulfilled in their current situation. He didn’t do much, had never expressed much want for anything other than health and Taeyong. When they met, Jaehyun had already graduated from school and was on his first year of college pursuing a degree in Communications. He had it — Taeyong considered Jaehyun’s graduation to be one of the best days of their relationship — but hadn’t done much with it.

Taeyong wondered if Jaehyun wanted to do more with himself, more than chauffeuring him around and standing as a background character in his life. The thought of himself possibly holding Jaehyun back scared Taeyong.

“He’s happy,” Taeyong said after a moment. “He loves me.”

“I never said that he didn’t, darling,” Ten responded, offering him a small smile. “I’m gonna start on your legs now, okay? Open them a little wider for me.”

Taeyong did. It wasn’t lost on him how that last thing had sounded. He kept quiet for a long while, letting Ten slowly massage the lotion into his bruise–mottled legs.

Ten’s hands moving into the insides of his thighs is what snapped Taeyong out of his own head. He looked down, face darkening at the sight of Ten staring silently at the expansion of marks that lined his skin. They had slipped his mind completely, something that Jaehyun had done to him the night before on the floor of their cheap motel. 

The push of Ten’s hands start to become a bit more deliberate. It’s when he pressed into one of the bruises that Taeyong’s breath hitched lowly, his stomach flipping at the sensation. Ten’s lips quirked. 

He pressed again and Taeyong gasped openly. He was about to ask Ten what he was doing, ask for the reason why he was touching him like this but Ten interrupted him, his voice low but certain.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ten asked, his hand still on the inside of Taeyong’s thigh, rubbing small circles into his pale skin.

“Um,” Taeyong said, hating how shaky his voice had come out. “Sure.”

“How does it feel,” Ten started, looking up at him, “to walk into a room and it’s like in the middle of winter you’re the sun?”

Taeyong didn’t know how to respond to that. (But a small part of him did and it was screaming the answer at him. It felt fucking  _ amazing.  _ It was everything to him.) Even if he could muster up the right words, he couldn’t function with Ten so close to him, face mere inches away from his own, staring back at him so intensely it was hard for him to breathe. He didn’t know what was happening or why he wasn’t moving away, putting some space between the two of them.

Then, Ten leaned forward. He did it slowly, as to give Taeyong time to change his mind, to move. Taeyong didn’t. He stayed still, body rigid until he could feel Ten’s breath wafting over his skin and eventually, until Ten’s lips were on his own.

Taeyong doesn’t know what he’s doing. For such a long time, he can’t think of anything that wasn’t how soft Ten’s mouth felt against him, how sweet he tasted. Ten kissed him so carefully, a way that made Taeyong’s heart swell.

Something clicked. Something that told him that it wasn’t right, that he was kissing someone that wasn’t Jaehyun. It hit him — the smell of soft ginger that followed Ten everywhere he went. Jaehyun didn’t smell like that. This wasn’t Jaehyun, this wasn’t his boyfriend.

Taeyong pulled back quickly, his eyes wide. Ten had already moved away from him, going back to rummaging through his case like nothing had happened. Taeyong’s whole face felt like it was on fire.

He needed to go. He couldn’t be in the same room as Ten, couldn’t be swallowed by the guilt that had already started to build up in his chest. Taeyong hopped down from his chair, stumbling over his own feet due to how frantic he was. 

“Costume director is waiting for you, love,” Ten mumbled. What he had pulled out was a pack of cigarettes. He plucked one from the container and brought it up to his lips. Taeyong’s gaze lingered on them. Ten lit it up and took a drag before pointing in the direction they had come from. “First door on the left.”

Taeyong didn’t even bother to nod. He simply walked out of the room and made his way to the next, still stunned by what had just happened. His sudden presence interrupted the conversation of two women whose heads had both snapped in his direction at the sound of the door opening.

Silence. Taeyong is too out of it to wonder about whether or not he had walked into the right room.

Then, one of the women stood and walked over to him. She had to look up to get the full view of his face underneath the room’s low lighting — comically short, even with heels on — staring at him for a long moment, maintaining the quiet that had settled from since he walked in.

“You,” she finally began, voice much raspier than Taeyong had expected, “are the most beautiful person that I have ever seen.”

Taeyong didn’t respond. He didn’t smile or blush or anything. There was no reaction. Fortunately, the women don’t seem to mind. They only pull him to the back of the room, fawning over his beauty as they dressed him, contrary to Ten’s vision of him being bare.

He was taken onto set afterward. It didn’t seem as breathtaking as it had before. Taeyong is pushed in front of the camera, forced into the spotlight.

His eyes scanned the room, staring back at all of the people staring at him. About halfway through, he spotted Ten, barely visible through the multiple bodies in front of him. He still had his cigarette, smoke curling into the air above his head. Their eyes met. Ten raised a brow.

Then, the photographer was stepping in between the two of them. Taeyong blinked up at him, only barely listened to his instructions but was still able to comply, doing as he was told by raising his arms above his head and turning his body slightly to the left, exposing his neck that was lined with glitter.

“Beautiful,” the photographer said, walking back over to his spot in front of Taeyong.

The shutter went off moments later.

  
  
  


✂️

  
  
  


Taeyong had been experiencing the effects of guilt since the day of the shoot.

Once it had come to a close, Taeyong didn’t even bother to go back with the other models to get his makeup taken off, too scared of possibly running into Ten. He hurried out of the clothes they had put him in and slipped on his hoodie and shorts, slipping out before anyone could see him. Jaehyun arrived about a half an hour later, gasping quietly when Taeyong climbed in the car. He said Taeyong looked unreal.

The compliment didn’t make Taeyong’s heart flutter like it usually did, though. It made his chest feel heavy and dark.

He felt horrible, not only because of the kiss, but because he had allowed Ten to do it, because he had kissed back and fucking  _ liked  _ it. In the three whole years of his relationship with Jaehyun, Taeyong had never once thought about anyone else, had never considered  _ being  _ with anyone other than him. The thought didn’t even cross his mind until Ten was kissing him. 

It wasn’t that he was second–guessing himself; Taeyong still very much loved and wanted to be with Jaehyun. It was just that this was the first time that he was recognizing himself having feelings for someone that wasn’t Jaehyun. And he couldn’t write it off as him being lonely or not getting enough attention from Jaehyun in their daily lives which had ultimately led to him searching for attention elsewhere. Jaehyun was perfect. He had no excuse. 

And that wasn’t the only thing bothering him. What Ten had asked him had been a recurring thought in his head, too. What if Jaehyun truly wasn’t happy? Was he being selfish by keeping Jaehyun here, inadvertently holding him back from doing what  _ he _ wanted to do with his life while Taeyong couldn’t even stay faithful to him? The guilt deepened for him when taking that into consideration.

When Taeyong was having trouble with something, he was good at keeping it a secret, not showing letting anyone around him in on what might have been going on. Jaehyun had gotten better than most at identifying it during their time together but still remained clueless to it more often than not. This time wasn’t any different.

Taeyong didn’t feel like going out. Jaehyun wanted to visit the beach, as he had really enjoyed it in Malibu and swabbed to see if Santa Monica was as scenic. He caved in on staying in the motel after Taeyong had quietly asked him to stay. (Which made him feel horrible, seeing that it reminded him again of Ten asking him if Jaehyun was sacrificing his happiness for him, even if it was as little as Jaehyun being able to go to the beach.)

One thing led to another. In the end, Taeyong ended up naked underneath Jaehyun, whining each time that Jaehyun fucked into him, practically smothering him with his body. Missionary had always been Taeyong’s favorite position. He liked how close Jaehyun would get to him while fucking him like that, his stomach rubbing up against Taeyong’s cock, his mouth so close to his ear, hot breath sticking to Taeyong’s sweaty skin. It was such a turn–on for him.

They had been going at it for close to an hour now. Taeyong’s entire face had gone all pink, both his arms and legs wrapped desperately around Jaehyun, whining noisily, drool spilling messily out of his mouth each time that Jaehyun’s thrusted into him, the tip of Jaehyun’s cock nailing his prostate. It felt good,  _ amazing,  _ even but even while struggling to breathe, even while repeatedly begging Jaehyun to  _ fuck me harder, Jae, please _ , the guilt had started to build back up in Taeyong, practically suffocating him.

“J–Jaehyun —  _ nnh  _ — Jaehyun, wait,” Taeyong breathed, unable to take it anymore.

“You’re okay, baby,” Jaehyun reassured him, voice hot and heavy in his ear. “You gonna come soon?”

Taeyong went to answer, to tell Jaehyun that  _ yes, he was going to come soon  _ but  _ no, that wasn’t the reason why he was calling _ but suddenly, Jaehyun was fucking into him particularly hard and Taeyong was choking on a wail, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Jaehyun chuckled darkly and reached down, pushing Taeyong’s legs open a little bit wider, allowing him to drill into Taeyong deeper.

That was what Taeyong liked about sex with Jaehyun. He had always been small, having taken after his mother, all dainty wrists and ankles and thin arms, thin thighs. Jaehyun was the complete opposite. He was tall and broad and  _ big _ , so much so that Taeyong had trouble sitting regularly for a week and a half after their first time. Jaehyun could cover him completely, break him in two if he wanted to. When they fucked, the drag of Jaehyun’s cock inside of his petite body made Taeyong feel like he was being stretched to full capacity, like he could feel Jaehyun in his  _ stomach _ , totally wrecking him both inside and out.

“ _ Jaehyun _ ,” Taeyong gasped, drool spilling down his chest as he spoke. “Oh my God, I —  _ Jae _ , ‘m gonna come.”

“You gonna come, doll?” Jaehyun asked.

“Mm —  _ fuck  _ —  _ mhm _ ,” Taeyong barely got out.

With another two or three thrusts, Taeyong was staying true to his word and spilling all over his stomach with a labored whine, reaching up to pull Jaehyun’s hair tightly as he shuddered through his orgasm untouched, causing Jaehyun to groan. 

Jaehyun came shortly thereafter, pulling out right before, adding to the collection of come on Taeyong’s lithe chest. He fell next to him on the bed afterward, Taeyong a bit dazed, running a finger through the mess on his stomach. He created a small heart with the fluid before reaching over, nudging Jaehyun to get him to look at his creation. 

“You’re like a five year old,” Jaehyun chuckled, rolling over to press a kiss to Taeyong’s lips.

They kissed lazily for a long while, Taeyong whimpering quietly into Jaehyun’s mouth each time that Jaehyun would press into a recently–created bruise on his inner thigh, still slick with spit. Taeyong really loved this, loved when Jaehyun would treat him so gently and kissed him like he couldn’t get enough of him, running his fingers through his hair, caressing his face softly.

Ten came to mind. Taeyong didn’t know why. Suddenly, he was no longer thinking of Jaehyun’s hand holding his bare hip and couldn’t shake the feel of Ten’s rubbing glitter into his skin. It was enough for him to pull back, the motion clearly catching Jaehyun by surprise.

“What’s up?” Jaehyun asked quietly, pushing a piece of Taeyong’s hair that was damp with sweat out of his face.

“Can I ask you a question?” Taeyong mumbled, avoiding Jaehyun’s eyes.

“Of course you can, angel.”

“Are — Are you unhappy?” Taeyong blurted, wanting to say it before he could convince himself not to, to swallow it down. “Not with me but like,” Taeyong paused, biting his lip nervously. “Is this thing with my career stopping you from doing what you really want to do?”

Jaehyun frowned and sat up, trying to fully gather all aspects of Taeyong’s question.

“Why would it be stopping me, Yong?” he said.

“Because, like,” Taeyong shrugged, “you’re not really doing anything, you know? All you do is chauffeur me around town and come to my events. You never do anything for  _ you _ , Jae.”

“Helping you with your career is doing something for me,” Jaehyun responded very matter–of–factly.

That wasn’t at all the answer that Taeyong wanted. He didn’t know what exactly would have made him happy, considering that hearing Jaehyun say that he wasn’t happy and how Taeyong was holding him back wouldn’t have been pleasant, either. He sat up, too, shaking his head.

“No, it’s not,” Taeyong said. “I mean like you going back to college or something.”

“I already told you that I don’t know if my university in Korea would let me transfer over here without it being, like, thousands of dollars,” Jaehyun reminded him.

“But you never called to find out, Jaehyun!” Taeyong whined, exasperated that Jaehyun didn’t seem to be understanding what he was trying to say. “And even if it is expensive, we’re on a good salary now. It’s not like I can’t pay.”

“I don’t want you using the money you earned on me,” Jaehyun frowned.

Taeyong could feel the irritation begin to build up in his chest. He didn’t know why Jaehyun was making this so hard.

“I’m your boyfriend,” Taeyong said. “I’m allowed to do things for you.” After that, Jaehyun only blinked at him, which let Taeyong know that he either didn’t hear a word he said or didn’t agree. Taeyong sighed quietly, pushing himself up onto his hands. “I just don’t understand why you don’t want more for yourself.”

That probably wasn’t the right thing to say. Jaehyun’s whole face changed, from soft and understanding to frustrated. His frown got even deeper.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaehyun asked.

Usually, Taeyong would have backed off and moved on with the conversation, not wanting to strike up an argument. Throughout their entire relationship together, he and Jaehyun had never truly fought. They bickered and complained but never argued. Taeyong tried to avoid that happening as best as he possibly could.

Today, something changed in him. Maybe it was the anxiety and guilt that had been building up inside of him for days and the need for him to relieve it, which Jaehyun wasn’t letting him do by being so fucking stubborn. It could have been something else. Either way, Taeyong didn’t feel like letting it go. He wanted Jaehyun to understand what he was saying and why he was saying it.

“You can’t base your whole life on me,” Taeyong said, shaking his head.

“Supporting you isn’t basing my whole life on you, Taeyong,” Jaehyun mumbled.

“You are!” Taeyong responded, his voice getting louder. He grabbed his briefs from the floor and slipped them on, going to stand. “You haven’t done a single thing for yourself since you graduated. It’s always for  _ me _ , to support  _ me _ , to help  _ me _ .”

Jaehyun laughed. It wasn’t one that was mocking, but more confused and dumbstruck by Taeyong’s sudden change of behavior.

“I don’t understand why you’re upset about this,” he said. “Do you want me to not be supportive of what you’re doing?”

Taeyong couldn’t take it anymore. It was like Jaehyun was  _ trying _ not to get it. He walked into the bathroom and rolled up some toilet paper onto his hand, using it to wipe the heart–shaped stain of come off of his stomach. Jaehyun was staring at him as he came back into the main room, picking up his hoodie from the ground and pulling it over his head.

“Taeyong,” Jaehyun tried. Taeyong didn’t respond, only pulled his hood up and went over to the door to slip on his sneakers. “Yong, where are you going?”

“Out,” Taeyong said shortly before opening the door and leaving.

The air outside was cool and crisp. It was a lot different than from inside the room which was polluted with the thick fumes of sex and a bad A/C that only blew dust. Taeyong walked as far away from their room as possible without going completely downstairs, settling on the staircase that separated the first floor from the second.

This was the first time that Taeyong had ever truly felt angry with Jaehyun. He couldn’t understand why Jaehyun was so content with doing absolutely nothing with his life. And it wasn’t that he thought Jaehyun was trying to mooch off of him or that he was looking down on him. Taeyong just wanted more for Jaehyun and it was frustrating that Jaehyun couldn’t see that.

It was that and it was the fact that Taeyong couldn’t let go of the idea that Jaehyun could have been living a very different life if they had stayed in Korea. He could have had a steady job and maintained the relationship he built up over the years there. He had a friend named Johnny who had been with him for almost his whole life and Taeyong couldn’t think of the last time he had heard the two talk. This move had quite literally ruined Jaehyun’s life and he couldn’t see that because he was so infatuated with Taeyong.

And that thought in itself terrified Taeyong.

Suddenly, Taeyong felt his pocket vibrating. He fumbled around until his fingers came in contact with his phone, having forgotten that it was even in there. He pulled it out, squinting down at the name that was being displayed on the screen.

It was Ten. That day after they had first met, Ten stopped Taeyong to give him the details about the party he had invited him to. During that time, he took Taeyong’s phone and created a contact for himself, stopping to take a quick selfie to go along with it. He hadn’t called or texted since then. As a matter of fact, Taeyong had forgotten that he even had a way to reach him. 

He knew that he shouldn’t have answered. Ten was trouble and both of them knew it. That being said, Taeyong only hesitated a moment before swiping his thumb over ACCEPT, pulling the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?” he said quietly.

“ _ Oh shit, you answered _ ,” Ten said breathlessly on the other end. “ _ Where the hell are you at? It sounds super windy _ .”

“I’m outside,” Taeyong answered honestly.

“ _ It’s, like, 1 in the morning _ ,” Ten pointed out.

Taeyong didn’t want to have to explain that he had gone outside because of an argument with Jaehyun, especially since he knew that would probably only give Ten some kind of sick satisfaction.

“Did you want something?” Taeyong asked, repositioning himself on the stair he was on, leaning back against the bars behind him.

“ _ Actually, I did _ ,” Ten said, seemingly unaffected by Taeyong’s bluntness. “ _ I’ve got pretty good news. Your agent was probably waiting until tomorrow morning to tell you but I wanted to be the first to say it _ .” _ _

There was some rummaging on the other end. The call went muffled for a long moment. Taeyong wondered what Ten could be doing and where he was at, since it didn’t sound like he could be alone in his home, preparing to go to sleep. He didn’t care enough to ask.

“ _ I talked Baker Plainfield into letting you audition for his Fall showcase _ .”

Taeyong paused. Baker Plainfield? That couldn’t be right. He was one of America’s biggest designers, if not  _ the _ biggest. Someone that influential, someone that exclusive couldn’t have been so inclined to let a nobody like Taeyong audition for him.

His lack of response must have been longer than Taeyong has realized because on the other end, Ten was clearing his throat and saying, “ _ Taeyong? _ ”

“I’m here,” Taeyong breathed, shaking himself out of whatever trance he was in. “Are — Are you serious, though? Like,  _ the _ Baker Plainfield wants me to audition for him?”

“ _ As a heart attack _ ,” Ten chirped. “ _ They didn’t pass along the details to me but like I said your agent will probably just call you sometime tomorrow and let you know when it’s all happening _ .”

“Oh my God,” Taeyong said, completely dumbfounded by the new information. “Oh my God, Ten. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“ _ Don’t thank me _ ,” Ten responded, laughing a little at Taeyong’s reaction. “ _ Just do well so that I’m able to see you again, okay? I’ve missed seeing your pretty face _ .”

Taeyong’s heart skipped a beat at that. Almost that quickly, he had forgotten the way that Ten spoke to him, how he was so unabashed and unashamed in it. Now would be the time for him to tell Ten that they couldn’t be a thing, that he didn’t want to do that with Ten and only had feelings for his boyfriend.

But he didn’t. Instead, he bit his lip and nodded before saying, “I will.”

“ _ Cool _ ,” Ten said. Taeyong could hear the smile in his voice. “ _ I’ve gotta go, though. Let me know how everything goes _ .”

“Okay,” Taeyong mumbled. “Bye.”

“ _ Bye, sweetheart _ .”

They hang up. Taeyong sat there for awhile, thinking about everything. He had landed an audition with Baker Plainfield. If he was accepted, this would be the defining moment of his career. His entire life would change. 

“Hey, Yong?”

Taeyong looked behind him to see Jaehyun standing above him, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. He looked really pretty like that, hair still messy from Taeyong pulling at it, pale skin bright under the light of the moon. He sat down next to Taeyong, sighing.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Jaehyun said. 

“For what?” Taeyong countered. He didn’t mean to be difficult but genuinely wanted to hear Jaehyun’s reason.

“I — I understand what you’re saying and I know why you’re saying it,” Jaehyun explained. “I just — Taeyong, I want you to know that you’re not holding me back at all. I have my whole life to make a career for myself. Right now, the only thing I want to do is support you because I know how hard you’ve worked to get here.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything for a long while. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It was the complete opposite. But, Jaehyun looked so proud of himself, so proud of Taeyong and Taeyong didn’t have the heart to tell him how he felt. He didn’t have it in him.

“I got an audition with Baker Plainfield,” Taeyong decided on saying.

Jaehyun’s entire face lit up. “Holy shit, really?” Taeyong nodded in confirmation. “When?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Taeyong mumbled. “I mean, I haven’t been told the details—”

Jaehyun doesn’t even let him finish, pulling him into a tight hug. He looked so happy, happier than Taeyong, even.

“That’s so great,” Jaehyun breathed, leaning down to press a small kiss onto Taeyong’s cheek. “I’m so happy for you, Yong. You’re gonna do so well.”

Taeyong nodded in response. Jaehyun held him like that for awhile, mumbling about how proud he was of Taeyong and how amazing it all was. Taeyong only barely listened.

It was strange. This felt so similar to how Jaehyun had reacted when Taeyong got accepted to his agency in LA. The only difference was that Taeyong was so happy to be spending that moment with Jaehyun and Jaehyun felt the same way. This time wasn’t the same. This time, Taeyong felt a sinking feeling in his stomach and uncertainty about what was to come next.

Not in his career. Not with himself. Not with Ten. But for the first time ever, with him and Jaehyun.

  
  
  


✂️

  
  
  


Taeyong was absolutely terrified for the audition.

Ten had been right; his agent had called him with the news the following morning, congratulating him happily. She reminded him constantly that this would be the turning point of his career, the moment that would distinguish him from amateur to professional. All he needed to do was nail the audition.

Jaehyun dropped him off. Gave him a kiss like always. Despite his sudden wariness of him, Taeyong found himself wishing that Jaehyun didn’t have to leave his side. Jaehyun had always been his main source of comfort and being separated from him in times like these made Taeyong feel like he could literally choke on his anxiety with how much it had built up in his throat. He swallowed it down, though. He had to deal with this himself, take this monumental step on his own.

When he got inside, someone showed him to the audition room. They told him to strip down to his underwear and wait alongside all of the other models in the room. Taeyong nodded and excused himself to the bathroom, folding his clothes neatly over his arm before coming out of the stall. His reflection caught his attention. The audition required him to go without makeup, leaving his skin totally bare. There were a few blemishes; the slight circles under his eyes, the scar on the left side of his face. Something about them only complimented his appearance, though. They meshed well with his pale skin and emphasized his wide eyes. Taeyong reached a hand up and ran it along the side of his face, his touch causing pink to blossom up underneath his skin from the pressure. 

He wasn’t talented. He knew that from an early age. While his classmates flourished in their own gifts, Taeyong often fell short. He couldn’t sing, couldn’t dance, couldn’t write. He had no real talent. But from as early as he could remember, people fawned over his beauty. They gave him more attention than to the people who were actually talented. It didn’t take him long to realize that society didn’t actually care about talent. It was too vain for that. All society wanted to know was if you were pretty enough. And Taeyong was.

He walked out of the bathroom and back into the audition room, finding a seat in the very middle. The amount of people there was overwhelming. At least fifty had shown up — more than half of them women, Taeyong could count all of the men there on one hand — and only five would be picked. He sighed and tried to ground himself. He needed to focus.

At one point, Taeyong felt eyes on him. He turned around in his chair to see Seulgi staring back at him, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, face completely rid of makeup, dressed in only a bra and panties. She tilted her chin up once Taeyong looked over at her, settling further into her chair. They stare at each other for a moment before Taeyong finally decided to turn back around. He wasn’t going to let Seulgi distract him.

The caster came in and collected them after about an hour. She only picked a handful — Taeyong, Seulgi and a couple of other people who didn’t have memorable faces. They’re all taken into a separate room, one that seemed even brighter than the one they had just left. They line up against the wall. While there, Taeyong noticed how everyone seemed to be holding their own card. He didn’t have one. Last he heard, his agent was still working on getting one for him. 

A woman and a man walked in and sat down at a table in the very front of the room. Taeyong recognized them immediately, skin prickling at how professional they both looked. In a way, they seemed untouchable, demanding attention in a single stare. They took Taeyong’s breath away.

Taeyong ended up standing by Seulgi. They don’t speak to each other, only watch the auditions before them. None of them are truly remarkable to Taeyong. The duo at the front seem to share his opinion, barely paying any attention to the people in front of them.

Seulgi is called up. She intakes a quick breath of air before walking over, keeping her head held up high as she handed the caster her card and went to stand in front of the table.

“Baker, you remember Seulgi,” the caster said, voice soft.

The man only blinked. He didn’t say anything. The woman leaned over, whispering something in his ear that couldn’t be heard by anyone else. He nodded and pulled off his glasses, cleaning them with the fabric of his shirt.

“To the podium and back,” he said shortly.

And Seulgi did. Her walk was confident and sure of herself. She looked graceful, making walking look like an art. Taeyong watched her intently.

He was the only one, though. Her entire walk, the woman had been looking down at Seulgi’s card and the man was still focused on cleaning his glasses. Seulgi came to a stop in front of them. Taeyong could pinpoint the exact moment that Seulgi realized nobody had been paying attention to her. She looked at the caster, then back to the woman and the man.

“Do you want me to go again?” Seulgi asked.

“That won’t be necessary,” the caster said. “Thank you.”

Seulgi hesitated. Then, she turned and walked away, taking her spot next to Taeyong. Her entire face had gone tight, breath quiet but shuddery.

“You can step up.”

Realizing that he was being called, Taeyong tore his gaze away from Seulgi and moved up, taking a deep breath before walking in front of the table.

“This is Taeyong,” the caster introduced.

A pause. Both the woman and the man look up. The woman’s expression never changed but the man’s falters, freezing completely. He put his glasses back on slowly, stopping to get a good look at Taeyong.

Taeyong could distinguish it. The slight change in the man’s posture, how he had perked up at the sight of him. Taeyong had managed to do what most everyone else couldn’t — get his attention and keep it. He maintained their eye–contact, waiting patiently for further instruction.

“Where’s your card?” the man asked after a moment.

“I don’t have one yet,” Taeyong answered softly. 

The caster spoke up behind him, “Taeyong is new in town but he’s recently been signed with Angel Roberts.” 

“How old are you?”

“19,” Taeyong said.

The man hummed. He seemed to be humored by that. Taeyong couldn’t put his finger on why.

“Go ahead and walk for me,” he said.

Taeyong did. He wasn’t very good at it, didn’t do it as well as Seulgi had but still walked with confidence. He went to the podium and back, stopping back in front of the table.

And he saw it. The quirk in the man’s mouth, barely lingering on a smile. The look in his eye in which almost perfectly mimicked one Taeyong had gotten used to seeing in people since moving to Los Angeles. Taeyong smiled, too, standing up a bit straighter.

“You have any runway experience?” the man asked, lowering his glasses to peer at Taeyong offer the top of them.

“No,” Taeyong replied honestly. “Not really.”

Another pause. Then, the man turned to the caster and gave her a slight nod.

“We’ll take him over to measurements,” she said, causing Taeyong to smile brightly.

Someone else is called up as Taeyong is shown over to sizing. A woman sat off to the side of the room, giving him a small smile as he approached. 

“Congratulations,” she said, picking up a piece of measuring tape. “Arms up.”

While she wraps the tape around his waist, Taeyong glanced over at Seulgi. She was staring at him again, only this time, her stare was different than it had been in the other room. Taeyong recognized it immediately. It was jealousy. She was trying to mask it, to pass it off as something else — anger, maybe — but Taeyong could tell. He had gotten too used to that look throughout his life to not.

And for the first time ever, Taeyong liked it. He liked the feeling of her hate, of her want to be in his position, in her internal need to take him down. It was a sensation like no other and Taeyong couldn’t get enough of it. He smirked at Seulgi softly, causing her to quickly look away.

After his measurements are finished, Taeyong is told that all of the information about the show would be passed on to his agent and he would know more about it by tomorrow morning. Taeyong nodded and walked out of the room, filled with a newborn sense of confidence that he didn’t even know he had in him.

Once redressed and having texted Jaehyun, telling him to come pick him up, Ten crossed Taeyong’s mind. He had helped get him this audition and was almost entirely the reason why Taeyong had landed it. It would have only been fair to tell him. Taeyong pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he found Ten’s.

_ I just wanted to let you know that I passed the audition. I think they’re considering letting me close the show. Thank you for everything. _

Taeyong stared at the message a moment before pressing send. Then, he pushed his phone back into his pocket and continued on his way outside.

Jaehyun was ecstatic to hear the news. He hugged Taeyong for a long time and drove them down to the beach where they celebrated with horrible boxed wine — that Jaehyun had to buy seeing that Taeyong wasn’t of age — and getting sand kicked up at them by passing children. Later that night, when Jaehyun fucked Taeyong into the mattress until he was reduced to nothing but pathetic whines and sloppy whimpers, 

Taeyong asked to repositioned to where he could see his reflection in the mirror across from their bed, wanting to watch himself as he came. As narcissistic as it sounded, he looked fucking  _ otherworldly _ .

Jaehyun had gotten up to use the bathroom afterward. Taeyong was still staring at himself in the mirror when he heard his phone go off. He rolled over onto Jaehyun’s half of the bed and grabbed it off of the nightstand, clicking the side to bring the screen to life. 

There was a message from Ten. It was short and simple.

_ I’m really excited to see you. _

Taeyong found himself smiling down at his phone. He doesn’t even notice Jaehyun coming back into the room, slipping back into bed next to him.

“Who are you texting?” Jaehyun asked. There wasn’t any suspicion in his voice. It was a completely innocent question.

The sound of Jaehyun’s voice startled him. Taeyong looked over at him, hesitating a moment before shaking his head, going to power off his phone and push it under his pillow.

“Nobody,” Taeyong lied, rolling back over to rest his chin on the middle of Jaehyun’s chest, looking up at him with big eyes.

If Jaehyun didn’t trust his response, he doesn’t say anything. He reached down and pushed a piece of Taeyong’s hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

“You are the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” Jaehyun mumbled.

Taeyong smiled. He leaned up and pressed a kiss against Jaehyun’s lips, letting his mouth linger there for a moment before pulling away and saying, “I know I am.”

And he did.

  
  
  


✂️

  
  
  


Taeyong’s hair was red. A natural red, soft against his skin. Jaehyun loved it, said it made him look younger and more vibrant. Taeyong liked it, too. It made him stand out amongst everyone else more than he already did. The constant Los Angeles sunshine had turned his skin into a warm hue, almost like caramel which only made his new color even prettier on him.

Baker Plainfield was known for his unique choices in models. He liked to do crazy things with them that no one else would — dye their eyebrows, shave their heads, the works. He had decided to do something different than his usual with Taeyong, venturing out of his trademark. He kept Taeyong as cool and clean as possible, dyeing his hair to make him look even younger than he already did and gave him temporary freckle tattoos, lined all across the bridge of his nose and along his cheekbones. Lolita would be Taeyong’s theme and if everything went well, the audience would feel nothing but adoration towards the new look. 

Jaehyun might have been more excited about everything than Taeyong was. On the day of the show, he had showed up to the door of their shared bathroom while Taeyong was brushing his teeth and did a small twirl in his new tuxedo, causing Taeyong to giggle quietly, shaking his head. He put his head under the faucet and washed out his mouth before walking over to Jaehyun, unbuttoning his top.

“Go put on some jeans and that shirt I bought you the other day,” Taeyong said, pushing Jaehyun’s jacket off of his shoulders and onto the floor.

“What?” Jaehyun responded, frowning. “Why?”

“Because it’s a fashion show,” Taeyong told him, trying to soften the blow by leaving up on his tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss to Jaehyun’s mouth. “Not a wedding.”

Jaehyun had pouted but changed regardless. In Taeyong’s opinion, he looked a lot better, in a silk button–down shirt opened to reveal a bit of his pale chest and dark jeans, his hair messily slicked back with gel. Taeyong is proud of his work. Jaehyun usually went with a hoodie and shorts so getting him into anything that wasn’t that was always a bit of a challenge.

They get to the venue later than expected due to traffic and Taeyong is nearly panicking, opening the car door before Jaehyun had even fully stopped, grabbing his stuff out from the backseat. He doesn’t even notice that Jaehyun had gotten out, not until there were a pair of hands on his shoulders, stopping him where he stood.

“Jae, I’m late,” Taeyong said, antsy.

“I know but it’s really important, okay?” Jaehyun responded, hands still propped onto Taeyong’s shoulders, waiting for him to give permission before taking them away. Taeyong whined exasperatedly before nodding, wanting Jaehyun to get whatever he was trying to do over with as fast as possible.

Jaehyun pulled back with a smile before walking past Taeyong, popping open the trunk with a button underneath the latch. Taeyong checked his phone, seeing if there were any messages from anyone of importance (Ten) or missed calls of anyone wondering where he might have been.

Taeyong looked up when Jaehyun came back around, his eyes widening at the sight before him. Jaehyun was holding a large bouquet of flowers and a small box clutched in his right hand, all of it coupled with a proud grin from Jaehyun.

“Oh my God,” Taeyong breathed, reaching out to take the bouquet from Jaehyun. “They’re beautiful, Jae.”

And then his gaze landed on the box in Jaehyun’s hand. It was velvet and blue, almost completely covered by Jaehyun’s fist. A huge bubble formed in Taeyong’s chest at the sight of it. It couldn’t have been what he thought it was.

“What,” Taeyong started, voice coming out drier than expected. “What is that, Jaehyun?”

“Well, I wanted to wait until after the show but I figured now was as good a time as any,” Jaehyun said, switching the box to his other hand to open it.

No.  _ No _ . This isn’t what Taeyong wanted at all. He couldn’t believe Jaehyun was doing this, was saddling him with all of this pressure right before one of the biggest moments of his life. His heart felt like it could beat straight out of his chest.

Jaehyun opened the box. As expected, it was a ring. Small and simple, adorned with a single diamond on top. Taeyong felt his face go hot. He looked up at Jaehyun, waiting for him to speak.

“We’ve been together for a really long time and you’re the only person that I can see myself being with,” Jaehyun began, stepping a bit closer to Taeyong. “And before you get all freaked out — it’s not an engagement ring.”

Taeyong tried his best to make the sigh of relief that left him as discreet as possible. His heartbeat almost immediately started to slow, calming down with Jaehyun’s clarification.

“What is it, then?” Taeyong asked, taking the box from Jaehyun to take a closer look.

“It’s gonna sound a little dumb,” Jaehyun said, laughing nervously as he scratched at the back of his neck. “It’s a promise ring. Like, a promise from me to you that I’ll always be there for you.”

Taeyong looked down at the ring. It was beautiful. He took it out of the box carefully and slipped it onto his finger, holding his hand up to get a full picture of how it looked. In all honesty, he was a little surprised that Jaehyun was able to pick out something so stunning.

He glanced back up at Jaehyun, smiling brightly at him before wrapping his arms around his neck in a tight hug. Jaehyun hugged him back, laughing onto Taeyong’s shoulder, this time out of relief and not out of nervousness. They stay like that until Taeyong moved back to draw Jaehyun into a deep kiss, Jaehyun responding immediately. 

“It’s beautiful,” Taeyong said quietly against Jaehyun’s lips, reaching up to push some of his hair behind his ear. 

Jaehyun smiled at him. “I love you so much, Yong.”

Taeyong smiled back but didn’t respond. Instead, he kissed Jaehyun one last time before pulling back and slipping the ring off his finger, pushing it into the cushion inside of the box.

“Can you wait until after the show to give it to me officially?” Taeyong asked. “I don’t want to lose it.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun said, taking the box back from Taeyong. “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m gonna go, okay?” Taeyong said, still smiling softly. “The flowers are gonna be my good luck.”

“I’ll see you out there?” Jaehyun called as Taeyong started to leave, walking quickly towards the entrance to make up for time lost standing there with Jaehyun.

“You will!” Taeyong called back. He wanted until he got to the door before turning back around, blowing

Jaehyun a quick kiss. Jaehyun’s eyes crinkled up as he laughed happily at the sight of his boyfriend.

The atmosphere inside was the same as it always was — loud, rushed and crazy. Taeyong walked through full of uncertainty, clutching his bag close to his side. All of it never failed to surprise him. He didn’t know how long it would take him to get over it, to get so used to the environment that it would no longer impress him but knew it definitely wouldn’t be any time soon.

It didn’t take long for someone who worked there to find him and quickly usher him over backstage, pushing him along with every other model. Once there, Taeyong couldn’t help but notice the multiple lingering stares that he was given. They all knew him, knew about how well he was doing. They reminded him so much of Seulgi. Taeyong have them all a small bow and continued on, searching for his artist like he was instructed to.

A woman who looked to be in her thirties found him and took him over to her chair. While there, Taeyong couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Ten wasn’t there. He had basically said that he would be working with him so it felt a little strange that Taeyong hadn’t seen him yet. Taeyong tried not to think about it, sitting up straighter in his chair so that the woman working on him had more access to his face.

He shouldn’t have been thinking about Ten. The disappointment in him was inappropriate and unwarranted. He hadn’t talked to Ten since that night and had since decided to keep it that way. He and Ten could be friends but that was all. Taeyong would remain faithful to Jaehyun.

They put him in a loose silk tank top and checkered pants — part of Plainfield’s new Fall collection, both ranking in at over $10,000. Wearing them made Taeyong feel nervous. He was hungry but refused to eat any of the treats set up backstage in fear of possibly ruining the clothes. Instead, he sat in his chair, watching everyone hurriedly mill around. 

At one point, Plainfield came around. He congratulated and thanked every model and wished them all well for the show. He seemed a lot less intimidating than during the audition. Taeyong had stayed in his chair, listening from afar, not wanting to insert himself in the madness that had gathered around the man. 

He wasn’t expecting for Plainfield to come up to him, smiling softly. With that, Taeyong stood up and allowed for him to lean forward and press two quick kisses to both of his cheeks. When Plainfield pulled back, Taeyong’s face was bright, cheek still tingling from the kiss. He was shocked that Plainfield seemed to be so comfortable with him, going out of his way to greet him personally.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Plainfield said, still smiling. He reached over and pressed a piece of Taeyong’s hair down, clicking his tongue. “I knew that this would suit you.”

“It’s, um,” Taeyong started, pausing to try and think of the right word for what he wanted to say, “very different.”

“Different is good, though,” Plainfield pointed out. Taeyong nodded in agreement. He liked his hair.

It went quiet for a moment. Plainfield didn’t seem to mind but Taeyong was a bit worried that he wasn’t being accommodating enough for such an important person.

“The marks?” Taeyong said, pointing to the bridge of his nose. Plainfield chuckled.

“Freckles,” he supplied, causing Taeyong to nod again.

“Freckles,” Taeyong repeated. “How long do they stay?”

“About a month or two,” Plainfield said. Taeyong hummed.

“Very pretty,” Taeyong said. Plainfield’s grin got even wider.

“I struck gold finding you,” he said before slipping a finger underneath Taeyong’s chin, pushing his head up slightly. “They’re gonna love you out there.”

Taeyong smiled back. He really hoped that Plainfield was right. Then, without another word, Plainfield moved along, leaving Taeyong alone in his chair once more. Before exiting the room entirely, he whistled sharply, letting everyone know that the show was set to start soon.

With that, Taeyong exhaled nervously. This was it. This was, without a doubt, the biggest moment of his short career. It could make or break him. He needed to go all out in these next couple of hours and close the show without a single hitch. He needed to be perfect.

The show started. Taeyong watched from backstage, making sure that he couldn’t be seen through the thin curtain. The crowd stayed relatively silent but Taeyong could pinpoint the exact moments where they could hide their surprise or how impressed they were with a specific model.

They go and go. Taeyong glanced quietly at each model that passed him by, immediately going over to an artist after having gone out to get changed for the final walk. They all looked so used to it, comfortable with all the hustle and bustle and the hundreds of eyes of them. It’s amazing to Taeyong.

The model set to walk right before Taeyong is sent out on stage. Taeyong isn’t allowed to watch anymore, instead having to meet with an artist to ensure that he looked his absolute best before going out. The artist gave a few pieces of his hair another quick twirl, curling them around her thin finger. By the time she’s done, Taeyong’s only has a few seconds to get into position. They give the model before him time to pass through the curtains once again and the crowd time to digest what they had seen.

Then, Taeyong is sent out.

The lights are bright. Brighter than Taeyong could have ever imagined. It took everything in him to not squint underneath it, keeping his gaze forward and continuing to walk.

He caught a glimpse of Jaehyun in the crowd, smiling up at him like the fool in love that he was. He looked so out of place in comparison to everyone else’s stoic faces. Taeyong made it a point not to look at him.

Taeyong could hear it as he stopped at the edge of the stage, right in the center of the room where everyone could see him perfectly. The slight murmur that went through the room. They were talking at him, each and every single one person praising him in hushed voices, only barely audible above the hum of the music playing above his head.

Plainfield was right. They fucking  _ loved  _ him.

And Taeyong loved it. He turned back and went to make his way backstage again, having to force himself not to smile smugly. It felt so empowering to him. To be able to entice so many people without lifting a finger. To cause conversation between such important people. The feeling was indescribable.

He realized then that this was his talent. Enchanting people with his appearance. Making them envy him, having them crave to talk about him, crave to  _ have  _ him in whichever way possible.  _ Fuck _ people who could draw, who could sing, who could write. Where were they in life? What attention did they drive to themselves? Who cared about them? Nobody cared about real talent. Talent is getting people to talk, impacting them deeply. They couldn’t do that. The society that cared about shit like that no longer existed. Because now they all cared about Taeyong. They  _ all  _ cared about Taeyong.

Someone changed him quickly once he got backstage again, dressing him in a lace shirt and a blazer, reapplying the gloss on his lips. He was sent back out among everyone else last, filled to the brim with adrenaline as they all did their last round on the stage. Some people looked at the other models, deeming them to be more interesting than Taeyong was but the majority of them had Taeyong trapped underneath their gazes, all watching him intently, all knowing that he stood out more than everyone else did. He could bask in it. He  _ was _ basking in it.

The audience clapped at the end, meaning that the models were finally allowed to break character. They all smiled but Taeyong’s was the brightest. He knew that the round of applause was for him, the cheering was for him. All of it was for him.

He went backstage absolutely glowing, unable to stop smiling. The atmosphere was different now that the show was over; a lot less tense and packed with fear and more happy and excited from the show. A few of the models pulled Taeyong aside and congratulated him for doing so well. They all spoke so fast that it was hard for Taeyong to decipher but he was able to push through, beaming while repeatedly telling them ‘ _ Thank you so much _ ’.

People keep coming up to him. They take pictures with him. Some are models, the people he’s worked alongside that night. Most are people that he didn’t even know. They must have come through from the audience, requesting to be let backstage to see him specifically. The thought of it made him smile.

Then, someone else approached him. It’s a heavyset woman with long, dark hair pulled up into a bun. She didn’t ask for a picture or start out with how amazing she thought Taeyong looked on the floor. She was quick and crisp and cut straight to the point.

“I want to sign you,” she said.

“I’m sorry?” Taeyong responded, unsure if he had heard her correctly. Sign him? He already was under a company, already had an agent. 

“I’m Rebecca Foster,” she continued, sticking her hand out for Taeyong to take.

And  _ oh.  _ Rebecca Foster? Taeyong had heard about her while he was still doing small gigs back in Korea. She was easily one of the most influential people in the industry, had some of the world’s best models at the moment and prior to working under her name, representing her self–made company. Every single one of models worked for magazines and designers at massive scales, from Harper Bazaar all the way to Vogue. She was big. Bigger than big.  _ Huge. _

She was telling Taeyong that she wanted to represent him.

“I have a company,” Taeyong said, not because he didn’t want to work with this woman but because he knew he was under a strict contract.

“I can deal with that,” Rebecca reassured him. She was persistent. She really wanted Taeyong.

“You want me to work for you?” Taeyong asked, absolutely dumbstruck by it. 

“I absolutely do,” Rebecca said. “You’re young and beautiful and talented. I’d be a fool not to recruit you before any of these other fools got to you.”

“Oh,” Taeyong said, his voice a little breathy. “Well, um, yes, I’d like to work for you—”

“Good,” Rebecca interrupted before Taeyong could even finish his sentence. She pulled out a small notebook from her coat along with a pen and began to scribble down something. “There’s a party happening at this address in an hour or so. Come and we’ll talk details.”

She ripped the paper and handed it over to Taeyong who took it with slight hesitancy. This was all happening so fast. It was hard for him to comprehend.

“Okay,” Taeyong mumbled, looking down at the address. “Thank you.”

Rebecca gave him a small smile before moving along, her attention now poised on someone else. Taeyong stood there a second, completely dumbfounded. He had just been scouted by Rebecca  _ fucking  _ Foster. This was monumental. His career had grown tremendously since being in LA but this was a whole new level. It would put him on an international scale. He would be a household name. He would be known all over the world. People from Korea to fucking  _ Kentucky  _ would be in love with him.

He needed to tell Jaehyun. Any feeling of being smothered by his constant support had since gone and was replaced by Taeyong’s excitement to let his boyfriend know how massively their lives would be changing. Taeyong got up and grabbed his stuff, overwhelmed with the thought of how happy Jaehyun would be once he heard the news.

He was halfway through the building, sight set on the door at the end of the halfway to leave when he went crashing into someone, his bag collapsing to the floor, gone skidding into a wall.

“Well, if it isn’t the supermodel.”

Taeyong looked up from picking up his bag from the floor to see Ten standing above him, smiling. He looked stunning; short hair messy on the top of his head, chest exposed underneath the silk fabric of a Gucci button–up. He had emphasized his cat–like eyes with a brown liner, lids decorated in a gold glitter. His cheekbones were lined with small rhinestones. He looked gorgeous.

“You’re here?” Taeyong asked which was a stupid question considering that Ten was standing right in front of him.

“I’m here,” Ten said, smiling. 

“For how long?” Taeyong continued. After not seeing Ten backstage, Taeyong had assumed that Ten hadn’t come.

“I’ve been here all night, sweetheart,” Ten chuckled, offering up a hand for Taeyong to take to pull himself up off the floor. Taeyong took it.

“How come you didn’t work on me?” Taeyong asked, cradling his bag to his side. “You weren’t backstage.”

“I decided that I wanted to watch you from the crowd,” Ten answered simply. “And I’m glad you did. You did amazing, Tae.”

For some reason, Taeyong blushed at the name. It was the first time that Ten had called him something other than some kind of petname. It felt more personal. He liked it.

The mention of the show reminded Taeyong of what had just happened. His face lit up with the realization, reaching forward to take hold of Ten’s forearm.

“Rebecca Foster is gonna sign me,” Taeyong said excitedly, beaming brightly. “I’m going to a party so we can talk details.”

Ten’s eyes went wide. “Are you serious?” Taeyong nodded happily. “That’s wonderful, honey!”

He pulled Taeyong in for a hug in which Taeyong graciously accepted, burying his face in Ten’s shoulder. He was so happy. This was the best day of his life so far.

Ten pulled back first, shaking his head in disbelief. Taeyong smiled back at him.

“I guess I’m gonna be too small of an artist to work on you now, huh?” he said, pouting a bit.

“No!” Taeyong interjected firmly. “I’ll ask them to hire you as my personal artist.” He thought about it for a second, hesitating. “I can do that, right?”

Ten chuckled and pushed a piece of Taeyong’s soft hair behind his ear. “You’re adorable.”

In a single instant, that feeling came back. The feeling from that day in the empty room with Ten rubbing glitter on his body. Taeyong blinked back at Ten, unable to think of what to say now that he knew what was going on inside of him.

Ten must notice it too because he’s pulling his hand back from Taeyong’s hair and placing a finger under his chin, tilting his head up. It was like what Plainfield had done but more intimate. Ten had a knack for doing or saying the same thing to Taeyong as someone else and making it feel different. Taeyong released a shaky breath at the contact.

“You know,” Ten started quietly. “The world is gonna love you.”

Taeyong could feel Ten start to get closer. His body started to go heavy with anticipation. He was having a hard time believing that this was happening again.

“I have a boyfriend,” Taeyong mumbled before Ten could move any closer, suddenly overcome with thoughts of Jaehyun.

“You do,” Ten said back. “Jaehyun is a nice guy, isn’t he?” He moved his finger from under Taeyong’s chin to Taeyong’s lips, tracing around the small shape of them. “I’m sure he doesn’t mind sharing,” Ten finished, looking up at Taeyong with his eyebrow quirked in question. “You think I’m right about that?”

He was wrong. He was so wrong. Jaehyun was possessive and not in a territorial, borderline abusive kind of way. He loved Taeyong a lot and knew that no one else shared that love for him. He wanted Taeyong to only want him, to only feel a desire for him.

But Taeyong didn’t. Standing there with Ten so close to him, amped on adrenaline, he couldn’t deny it anymore. He liked Ten. He  _ wanted  _ Ten. He had wanted Ten since for almost a month now, since that day in that dark room.

So, without thinking about it any further, Taeyong pulled Ten’s hand away from his mouth and moved forward, kissing him. He could feel the pull of Ten’s lips slowly forming a smirk as it almost immediately deepened, encouraged by Ten completely.

The kiss was different than the one prior in so many different ways. It was filthier, sloppier, boosted purely by passion. Taeyong whined quietly into Ten’s mouth as Ten gave his tongue a quick suck. He moved his hands up to loop around Ten’s neck, pulling him in closer, silently telling him to keep going.

Jaehyun crossed his mind but this time, the thought of him isn’t accompanied by guilt. That’s all he is at the moment; a thought, one clouded by Taeyong’s incessant want for Ten to kiss him harder, to touch him more.

At a certain point, Ten pulled back, mouth slick with a mixture of both his and Taeyong’s saliva. He was grinning, the curl of his lips so smug that it almost made Taeyong’s stomach churn.

“I knew you weren’t as innocent as you looked,” Ten said, hand going down to untuck Taeyong’s shirt from his pants in the middle of the hallway. The thought of someone walking in on them made Taeyong’s heart race.

Jaehyun crossed his mind again. He had texted him before going to leave earlier, let him know that he would be out soon. Jaehyun would be expecting him, patience turning into worry at Taeyong’s lack of appearance.

He shook the thought of his mind quickly. He couldn’t think about Jaehyun. Not if he was going to go through with this. 

Taeyong leaned forward and pecked the corner of Ten’s mouth softly, lingering there a second. Then, he moved by Ten’s ear.

“Fuck me,” Taeyong said, so quietly that Ten almost didn’t hear it.

“Yeah?” Ten asked. “You sure Jaehyun won’t mind?”

He hated that Ten was pushing it, so very clearly teasing him. He tried not to think about it too much and pulled back, looking at Ten with his lower lip tucked in between his teeth, eyes big and full of lust.

“He won’t mind.”

Ten chuckled before pulling him in for another kiss.

While Ten’s hand slipped into his pants, Taeyong had absolutely no idea that Jaehyun was on the other side of the entrance that he was  _ supposed  _ to have left through, hand shoved in his pocket, absentmindedly fingering the box in there. He had pulled the old Ford that he and Taeyong had gotten together when first moving to LA up near the door, ready for Taeyong to come climbing in, without a doubt looking as beautiful as he had walking gracefully along that stage.

Taeyong had texted him over fifteen minutes ago and still wasn’t out. Jaehyun wasn’t too worried, figuring that he had gotten caught up by people wanting to talk to him. The thought of it made him smile. He heard the reactions of the crowd with Taeyong’s appearance on stage, murmuring about him in pure awe and adoration. It was surreal to hear so many people talking about his boyfriend like that. Jaehyun loved it.

He unlocked his phone and glanced at the message Taeyong had sent him once again. It seemed rushed, littered with incorrect spelling with how excited Taeyong was.

_ B out in moment!!! Big news 2 tell u! Love you so much <3. _

Jaehyun smiled down at his phone before locking it again, pushing it back into his pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> I made a Twitter so you can leave me comments, talk to me, request something for another story if you end up liking my writing or just talk to me about Taeyong, Jaehyun, Ten and NCT in general! You can follow me at: @princeyongs.
> 
> Please, please, PLEASE leave comments! I really want to hear feedback about this.


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